Almost Had a Shootout Tonight

We have had some problems in my neighborhood with drug dealers.

The whole city has had a problem with idiots folks from out of town coming in to buy drugs. Police tell me that heroin seems to be the big one of choice these days. The other day some retards kids came in town from the sticks out of town and tried to make a buy, and instead got jacked robbed and shot. Not speaking ill of the dead, but my thought is if you come into the hood an area you don't know and try to buy smack do something illegal and get fucked up shot, you are getting what you deserve.

I have a no-tolerance policy with drug dealers and buyers in my neighborhood that the police know about. I have chased down a few folks - probably most well-known for chasing one down with a sledgehammer in hand. We've also pulled a shotgun on junkies and gone out after dealers and cunts buyers, alike. One of the local officers told me that when he has busted arrested dealers in our area, he has told he is doing them a favor:  to save them from me.

Well - to be fair - to save them from us. Alice is usually the one holding the shotgun...

So tonight I was driving to the corner drive-thru to pick up some beer (new member of the Beer Drinkers Union - Local 32 oz.) and I saw two cars pulled up next to each other just around the corner. Typical buy/hand-off posture. I came to a stop to look at their license plates when one of the guys got out of one car with a baseball bat in his hand. I took off.

Just to go around the block, and pulled the company logo magnets off of the truck to jump back and and tear around the block to catch them. Had my phone out ready to call the cops, too --

As I came around the corner, I saw one car leaving and followed it, accelerating quickly. Within two blocks I was right up behind it - getting the license plate number to call in. But within moments, they know I'm there and they obviously suspect what I'm doing - pulling over to the side of the road on the busy street.

What choice did I have? I went around them and gunned it hard. But they gave chase.

I blasted right around a corner, tires squealing - then quickly shot left while people jumped up on the curb to get out of my way. I gunned it down the quiet, dark block - then, tires screeching in protest, whipped left around another corner before pulling into the drive-thru.

Not the lane to buy, but the parking lot. Then jumped out as the other car pulled up and strode out to ward the street with my hands out in the typical "What you gonna do?" move --


So you think you pretty gangsta? Well I'm pretty gangsta myself. Cunt.


The guy with the bat steps out yelling, "What up?" To which I can yell back, "What up, esse? What you gonna do?" (O yeah. I actually said it. Verbatim.)

And this guy's like, "What you want?" and I replied "What are you doing on my block?"

To which HE replies, "What are you doing on MY block? I live on that corner." And I'm like, "I live on that block, man."

At this point - hopped up for some of the ultra-violence - I suddenly realize all is not as it seems. I throw my hands up and say, "Hold on. Hold on. Let's take a step back here."

By this point he and I are almost nose to nose at the edge of the street, and the other people in the car have now gotten out. I look over and recognize one of them as one of my neighbors. "Oh, hey," I say, "I know you. What's up?" The first guy looks over at my neighbor and says, "Does he live there?" and my neighbor nods.

"Shoot man," the first guy says, "don't roll up on me like that. I almost shot you."

"Are you kidding?" I reply, "I almost shot YOU!"

So my neighbors and I laughed about nearly shooting each other and talked about the problem with drug dealing in our city - and, apparently, our neighborhood - as well as sharing our adventures & experiences. The guy with the bat and I spoke about our mix-ups with drug dealers.

While the police have asked me to stop physically running them off with sledgehammers, they have apparently asked him to stop smashing buyer's cars. We both say that's what they get. He says he's going to start firing warning shots. I promised back up...

So you dealers and junkies: I have some advice for you --

Don't come up on our block, yo.

ADDENDUM: After all this I went through my drive-thru to pick up my beer, and the guys who work there (who know us pretty well) were like, "what's up? we thought there was going to be a fight." And I told them the whole story. The one guy was like, "Man, I grabbed MY gun cause I thought the shit was going down." That was part of the reason I went there - not just because it was well lit. I knew there was back up.