Good-bye Without Good-bye

The hardest thing when a friend dies unexpectedly is the realization of all the things you had planned that you did not do. The things left unsaid. Plans to hang out or do something together that will now never happen. I constantly involve my friends and family (though my family are smarter about it now) involved in my wacky plans and schemes. That means that the plans I was working on may very well be lost.

On top of that - the guilt of feeling like you cool have done more. That you missed something that should have tipped you off the end was near. That that last conversation should have been longer - the realization that was the moment you to say and do what needed to be done. And you didn't. Then the wishing that he had said SOMETHING - had called me when he was feeling the blackness overtaking him...

At the same time - you know it really isn't your fault. But it doesn't make it any easier.

* It is HARD to be an artist. Especially one so obviously talented, but unappreciated in one's own time. Creating work - getting it out there. Making SO MUCH happen - - but so many people not realizing it. And not just not making a living from it, bu finding and realizing people are ripping him off. *

Nothing is worse than the sudden, unexpected loss of a friend or family member - with so much left undone. The biggest illusion we all suffer is that've have more time.

RIP - A.C.

Funny Thing

One time I knew a couple of friends who had a falling out of some sort (I wasn't privy to the details). When I asked about what had happened from a mutual friend of theirs what had happened, it was described to me that friend 1 had "photoshopped her (friend 2) out of her life."

That phrase stuck with me. And...

That is what I am doing right now...

Getting Dumped

Watching American Horror Story Asylum on FX right now.

It has been nine (9) years since I last broke up with someone. Relationship-wise, anyway. Until now.

I had really forgotten the pangs of anguish. Wondering what that person is doing... Missing them...
Everything left undone. Promises made.

I had also forgotten the pain of figuring out a way through the lies and deceit. Hating them... Disgusted with what they did...
One truth leads to another, leading to yet another. And the final realization --

I never really knew who that person was. The person I loved never actually existed.

And now it is like she died -- but is still walking around out there. Sometimes even in eyesight.

Of course, with all the lies and such -- it is more like the reanimated corpse of the person I loved is shambling around doing who knows what with who knows who...

Ug.

AND having to tell the kids: this person is not coming back. You will probably never see this person again. All the plans that person made with you... all the promises... are not going to happen. What's worse: verything that person told you may have been a lie.

Broken

It has been tough for a while. Just tough.

Tough to do, tough to know. Tough to see...

I hope to be turning things around --

So they gave Chris Brown - really only famous for beating his then-girlfriend Rhianna, followed by being an additional douche - a Grammy award. It is not something that real people (the public) decide - it is a committee/organization works out about who gets what.


After receiving a Grammy at the ceremony the other night, he apparently tweeted some rude shyte after other celebrities tweeted their complaints about his win. Check out the article below, which details everything...


http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/entertainment/2012/02/chris-brown-responds-to-grammy-appearance-backlash/

As I read it - and I thought about what all happened... I read this comment in it - and realized that person is correct:
POSTED BY: DAVE | FEBRUARY 15, 2012, 11:56 AM 11:56 AM

"People forget he won a Grammy not a Humanitarian award. How many celebs have done wrong and gone on with their careers without penalty. Of course, I don’t condone what he did – that was a disgusting act – but he won for his merits as a musician – end of story. At least he paid the price for his crime.
Roman Polanski never served a day in jail for raping an underage girl. How many other celebs do far much worse and never pay for it. Not only is he allowed to continue his craft, he is constantly honored and rewarded for it.
He committed a crime, he paid the price. Same as Michael Vick. I doubt those two would ever repeat their actions. Rather than target them , target those who continue to commit crimes without fear."

I agree with this guy, Dave. But... THAT BEING SAID:
I am not financially supporting Chris Brown. Not buying his records or paying to see his shows. Just like Chick-fil-A (whose food I love, btw), I will not support what I see as immoral behavior. They can do what they like - but they will not have my money to continue their immorality. 


I feel the same way about the Philadelphia Eagles. I know that Michael Vick has served his time and paid his debt to society - but that doesn't mean I want to hang out with him. Or support the team that would hire him. That type of behavior is not something you get over just by serving some time.


And that is really the issue, isn't it? The United States Criminal Justice system is supposed to be about rehabilitation - but, unfortunately, the way the system is arranged, rehabilitation rarely happens. It is so rare that someone actually comes out reformed, that I do not believe we ever expect it any more.


I guess it is not much like Chick-fil-A, after all. They just give money to causes that I cannot support. They have not paid any debt to society or anything. It just comes down to if I cannot condone what someone does - I should make every effort NOT to support them in any way (including financially).


So Chick-fil-A will never get my money or support. Neither will the Philadelphia Eagles or Michael Vick. Especially not And neither will Chris Brown. Or Sean "Puffy/Puff Daddy/P Diddy" Combs. Or Burger Kind. F*ck all those guys, too.

Scooby Doo - Where Are You?

Currently watching Scooby Doo Where Are You? Case of the Spooky Space Kook on Boomerang.

You know what is disturbing? The universe in which the Mystery Machine gang lives and operates. Every place is run down (like the farm house where the gang stops to try and buy some gas after the Mystery Machine runs out). Their whole world is filled with abandoned amusement parks, camps, factories, air fields and all kinds of similar places. Even the Spooky Space Kook's spaceship looks rundown and awful.

And then there is the fact that the early ones (the Spooky Space Kook episode is copyright in 1969) feature villains whose idea of scaring people off to run some kind of scam involves dressing up like some kind of ghostly or supernatural creature. And that people go for it - meaning they believe that it is actually possible.

I just do not know if I can buy that. 1969 must have been a VERY different time. VERY DIFFERENT.

I read somewhere that Carl Sagan once praised for Scooby Doo for debunking the supernatural and inspiring children to critical thinking. It is too bad in later years as they messed with the show formula for different incarnations that they actually pushed the supernatural agenda. Sometimes they got it right - but often times they did not (or had something allegedly supernatural happening in concurrence with the attempted scam).

My kids like the old Scooby Doo shows a lot - and I would prefer they watch them. They show regularly on the Boomerang channel. And we actually prefer the kids watch the cartoons on that channel -- the old Jetsons, Flintstones, Scooby Doo and all those kind of cartoons (primarily from the 60s & early 70s) are so much better than most of the new cartoons out there.

Disaster Strikes!

Currently in a panic.

My computer crashed. Not just crashed, but apparently the hard drive went bad. So all the data is unable to be extracted.

I have backed up, but I can't remember when the last time was, AND I can't check the external drive to see what's there without a computer. Ugly. Everything could be gone!

Trying to do blogs and business from my iPod Touch. It's rough.