Insight Along the Artist's Way

Currently watching "Dark Mirror" on IFC.

When I was in my late 20s I was introduced to a book called "The Artist's Way" by my friend Sabrina. It is a workbook to help with creativity, and she knew several people who had success with it. Soon thereafter, through my eclectic travels that eventually led to my entry into grad school, it kept popping up. It seems a lot of creative people I respected had been making good use of it.

Eventually, I am not sure when, I got a copy from somewhere and decided to try it myself around 2003 or so. Since then I have done the Morning Pages and work in the book when I am feeling especially uncreative or blocked. I credit "The Artist's Way" with the successes of FreakShow Deluxe as well as my personal artistic growth.

Now that I have pitched that enough - here is the point of the blog: One part of the work you do are the Morning Pages. Every morning, first thing, you write no less than three pages (longhand - NOT typing) in a notebook. These pages are not for others to read. Not necessarily a diary. Not really meant for sharing. It is forcing you to be creative on a schedule... AND aims for some personal insight.

Alice recently finished one wall of my office, outfitting the 20-foot length with 6-foot high shelves suitable not just for books, but for displaying my collections of stuff. FINALLY, I am unable to unpack boxes sealed away for years - some more than 8 or 9 years old. I have been finding all kinds of stuff I had forgotten about. Displays from the Empire Amusement Hall, quirky things picked up on tour, obscure gifts stashed away... and mountains of paperwork needing filed and archived.

INCLUDING a variety of notebooks I have used over the years for my Morning Pages. Some of which I have never looked at since my initial writing.

As I was unpacking, Alice thrilled at the idea of looking through them - even though I asked her not to... but, whatever. My handwriting is such that she could barely decipher most of them. But she did come across a few she could read pretty clearly as she leafed through them.

And what did she see?

Repeatedly my commenting that I do not like the way that I dress or look. My calling for changes to how I look. Wanting to find a look that can be taken more seriously by other professionals. For years I have been on this kick - and yet I am still unable to make any kind of change...

I need help. Possibly psychiatric. More likely from "What Not To Wear." Except now they only work with women. *shrug* I guess men no longer need make-overs. I need a stylist - but the phenomenal ones who work with FreakShow Deluxe are more the rock-n-roll style. And that is not what I am looking for.

If I was wealthy, I could dress however I damn well pleased. Money talks way more than how someone looks.

Recently I had a long conversation with a friend as we discussed the "look" of success. And of wealth. The showy-off kind AND the more subtle. We agreed I do not seem to share ANY of those looks. Perhaps I will discuss it more later on this blog - but I welcome your comments.

Since the beginning of the year I have lost a few pounds. Eating better. Cut my calorie intake. Cut back on caffeine. Upped my water intake. Exercise, too.

After some kid referred to my chops as "metal" at a show, I cut them way back... I guess my long hair threw him a bit. I don't consider myself particularly "metal." And if that is what I am being mistaken for...

Anyway...



In conclusion: for nearly 10 years I have been bitching about how I look. Why have I not done anything about it?

Perhaps I will even return to "The Artist's Way."